only till the next review.
prizes have a small life...
overshadowed by the next winner,
there is always one
process has long shelf life...
sustained by sense of fairness,
distilled wisdom and egality...
Aug 21, 2009
Jul 30, 2009
Leadership
Is leadership to lead?
Does it mean leading another person or a group of people? Does leadership involve follower-ship?
One person leads as he / she has the best ideas. The rest are less than...
And since there are few original ideas, are we all followers?
Leadership used to mean leading people, movements, organizations... does it still mean the same?
Does it mean leading another person or a group of people? Does leadership involve follower-ship?
One person leads as he / she has the best ideas. The rest are less than...
And since there are few original ideas, are we all followers?
Leadership used to mean leading people, movements, organizations... does it still mean the same?
Jun 21, 2009
We were given infinity and eternity...
A friend wrote..."When the senior managers I was working with hit Delhi airport many of them said, " Bloody civilization" ! A sad commentry on what we have made of our society."
We were given infinity and eternity
we reduced it to centimetres and seconds
Most of us scrambled to get our piece of action
before we passed on
Some of us fretted about what we leave behind
for our children and grandchildren
A few of us sought oases to taste the earth
as she was made
Fewer still mulled
... the creation of oases...
We were given infinity and eternity
we reduced it to centimetres and seconds
Most of us scrambled to get our piece of action
before we passed on
Some of us fretted about what we leave behind
for our children and grandchildren
A few of us sought oases to taste the earth
as she was made
Fewer still mulled
... the creation of oases...
May 28, 2009
All we have to do...
All we have to do, is live
from moment to moment...
from moment to moment..
moment to moment to moment...
and ...
try to find out, if at all
if at all,
it makes any difference what we do...
the guttural rumbles... from the civilizational chest
like food refusing to digest in the belly of a hearty eater,
seems to say,
it matters what you do, it matters what you do,
and a sleepy squeak, utters
in perfect harmony ...
it matter little, it matters not, what you do..
it matters not, what you do..
Not surprising so...
we wonder.. where do I go
where should I be going?
Occasionally we meet someone who asks
find out, if you can, find out if dare..
find out if you will, and if you care..
Is there a way of living...
AN intelligent way to wend our way
Is not the step ahead the only one in your hand?
Is not the that which is going to take you wherever it takes you?
Do you know how to take this one?
Are you quaking and shivering?
carrying fears of mistakes, problems and uncorrectable errors?
First we go for the necessities.
Then for the quality enhancers
then the value adders
Soon it is the luxuries
the relentless progression...
But soon we find
the end of many things
What does one expect?
travel far and wide?
riding the crests of many waves,
with the wind in our hair,
And, nary a tumble,
Does one wish never to catch,
the leering gaze of those who have fallen and did not rise?
Or fear letting oneself down, and our people?
Man and woman, woman and man,
do we wish at all to walk?
Or sit by the wayside,
moping and lamenting,
the cards dealt?
our resources a small lifeless heap?
If there is one certainty in life,
it is that we will go.
sooner or later,
we will go! all of us go.
In the meantime... All we have to do, is live
from moment to moment...
from moment to moment..
moment to moment to moment...
and ...
try to find out, if at all
if at all,
it makes any difference what we do...
from moment to moment...
from moment to moment..
moment to moment to moment...
and ...
try to find out, if at all
if at all,
it makes any difference what we do...
the guttural rumbles... from the civilizational chest
like food refusing to digest in the belly of a hearty eater,
seems to say,
it matters what you do, it matters what you do,
and a sleepy squeak, utters
in perfect harmony ...
it matter little, it matters not, what you do..
it matters not, what you do..
Not surprising so...
we wonder.. where do I go
where should I be going?
Occasionally we meet someone who asks
find out, if you can, find out if dare..
find out if you will, and if you care..
Is there a way of living...
AN intelligent way to wend our way
Is not the step ahead the only one in your hand?
Is not the that which is going to take you wherever it takes you?
Do you know how to take this one?
Are you quaking and shivering?
carrying fears of mistakes, problems and uncorrectable errors?
First we go for the necessities.
Then for the quality enhancers
then the value adders
Soon it is the luxuries
the relentless progression...
But soon we find
the end of many things
What does one expect?
travel far and wide?
riding the crests of many waves,
with the wind in our hair,
And, nary a tumble,
Does one wish never to catch,
the leering gaze of those who have fallen and did not rise?
Or fear letting oneself down, and our people?
Man and woman, woman and man,
do we wish at all to walk?
Or sit by the wayside,
moping and lamenting,
the cards dealt?
our resources a small lifeless heap?
If there is one certainty in life,
it is that we will go.
sooner or later,
we will go! all of us go.
In the meantime... All we have to do, is live
from moment to moment...
from moment to moment..
moment to moment to moment...
and ...
try to find out, if at all
if at all,
it makes any difference what we do...
May 26, 2009
random thoughts
Easy to blame
Easy to feel blamed
Easy to find fault
To find things wanting
Tough to celebrate
To enjoy the small things
When we do we wait
We wait for the moment to pass
To be anxious is natural and the base state
Celebrations must only be short!
Can't be long and continuing,
That is reserved for pain!
How can it be possible?
But how?
For one to celebrate the touch of the sun?
Or the morsel we chew and eat when hungry.
The blessing of people who care and the unconscious smile of a child...
How can I celebrate each moment,
Surely this is not meant to last!
How can I say, "no complaints,
None whatsoever..."
Feels bit like death!
Easy to feel blamed
Easy to find fault
To find things wanting
Tough to celebrate
To enjoy the small things
When we do we wait
We wait for the moment to pass
To be anxious is natural and the base state
Celebrations must only be short!
Can't be long and continuing,
That is reserved for pain!
How can it be possible?
But how?
For one to celebrate the touch of the sun?
Or the morsel we chew and eat when hungry.
The blessing of people who care and the unconscious smile of a child...
How can I celebrate each moment,
Surely this is not meant to last!
How can I say, "no complaints,
None whatsoever..."
Feels bit like death!
A Plaintive cry... What should I do, What should I be?
These are timeless questions. And I heard them again the other day. Not from a young student, 
directly. But from one old enough to be his great grandmother.
Patti (Grandmother): "What should he do? What line of engineering should he choose? He is a good boy and has finished school. He will surely get good marks. But he is confused, Which line should he choose? Shall I send him to you? WIll you please speak to him?"
Teacher: "Yes, what shall we say that is something tinged with more than just hope and 'trust me I know'?"
P: "He wants to do well."
T: "I understand that and who would not. But what does 'doing well' that mean to him?"
P: "A god job and a good salary. If the IT boom had not ended he would have gone that way. But now he is unsure."
T: "Yes, what would he like to do? What would he be happy doing?"
P: "Well, that is his confusion. He does not seem to have much that he is sure of."
T: "If I see read the aspirations of most educated young people who I meet, a good job seems to mean sitting in an air conditioned office before a computer, and enough money."
P: "While that seems stark you may have a point. The man who comes to fix my air conditioner is not an engineer, but a tenth passed worker."
T: "Students who do engineering want to go up quickly - up the ladder, into management, or marketing or finance or IT."
P: "Therefore does it matter what branch of engineering, particularly if one is not going to pursue engineering?
T: "Patti, you are not supposed to be saying this - that is my line! In the college atmosphere, with peers bringing new information, this is where students gather aspirations."
P: "It used to be simple some years ago - people could choose an engineering or medical course and then life took care of them"
T: "Unfortunately, or fortunately the rules have changed in the 21C. Recently someone said to me that your degree will take you only 2 years in your career."
P: "At least that!"
T: "But what if you are only clear about 'sitting in an air conditioned office before a computer, and enough money'? The 2 years will not take you far. After that people seem to need an attitude of learning and willingness to learn again. They need stamina and forbearance to try many solutions and work with different sensibilities."
P: "Schools and colleges don't seem to be helping our young people learn this. Years ago in Germany students used to go to industry. And they were not only looking for white collar jobs.
T: But today in India even people who have passed 12th standard want an office job. No one wants to travel or get their hands dirty, if they can avoid it."
P: "We have to accept this as the popular aspiration. We cannot wish it away."
T: "Yes, therefore the question becomes even more poignant - what do we say to a young person, who asks for advice. What do we say that we feel is authentic and good and has his or her long term interest in mind?"
P: "It is safe to suggest engineering, or MBA or Visual communications."
T: "I would feel very inauthentic saying this to any young person. I may say....
it is ok for you to be confused and not know what to do. It is also perfectly ok to want to earn well and be happy. I wish you this.
However it is important to ask where you wish to start, particularly when you are unsure what interests you. You must remember that you live in times very different from those we have grown up in. This means every 3 or 5 years you will be learning new things and will be required to learn new things. This will be needed whatever your job or work. So you need to cultivate a discipline of learning. Unlike in the school or college, what you have to learn may not come to you in the form of books. You will have to search for it and go after it. You need to smell out possibilities and take them forward.
Most people seem to go for a college degree because they feel 'incomplete' without it. All will agree that most things they learnt in college and school are not used by them. They would simultaneously tell you that the experience was valuable for all the things outside the classroom.
Now may I raise a few questions, as much to you as to myself? Is there another way of approaching this question? Let us take some facts:
1. Considering that college education does not matter much for what you have to do, if you must, just take any course. It will give you feel a sense of belonging. Further, you don't have any compulsion that you must work in an area that you study.
2. Three and four year course have a new significance these days. They say knowledge doubles every 2 1/2 years. This means the ground that you cover in college will be 1/2 as relevant by the time you pass out.
3. You have to continue learning even after college and this is unavoidable.
4. You will do most of your learning on the job, in the contexts of your choice.
Now considering that your degree will take you 2 years into your career, and that you would need a discipline of learning continuously, what would be sensible for you to do?
1. Are you sure you wish to be in an air-conditioned room all your working life?
2. Which level do you wish to enter the work life? As an apprentice or as a manager?
3. Is apprenticeship for a year or two, work experience for a year or two followed by a degree an option at all?
4. Your resources now:
Now, I would suggest to a young person to try and do 2 or 3 short term assignments in a year or work as an apprentice to someone who is doing in an area that he / she likes. One thing this exercise will do - one will find out what is definitely 'no'. I would also advice a young person to enter the world of work 'modestly'. If one is learning, one does not expect to be paid a high salary for it. Colege charge one for the opportunity to learn. So crafting a learning opportunity for oneself with a modest income is like having a stipend for learning, studying, discovering what one enjoys doing and would like to be doing.
One may also discover that the skills one has are already more than what is needed in most jobs! With this confidence if a young person continues to learn then soon he or she can do a degree or earn a qualification. Many of us know people whose organizations are sponsoring them for higher qualifications. Short term courses in the work period are quite common and practical.
As David Orr wrote in 1985 "...the oldest and most comfortable assumption of all that education can take place only in "educational" institutions. Colleges and universities are expensive, slow moving, often unimaginative, and weighted down by the burdens of self-congratulation and tradition. They offer a discipline-centric curriculum that corresponds modestly with reality. The grip colleges and universities now have on "education" will be broken when young people discover alternatives that are far cheaper, faster and better adapted to economic realities. "
He further goes on to say, "Students ought to be encouraged first to find their calling: that particular thing for which they have a deep passion and which they would like to do above all else. A calling is about the person one wants to make oneself. A career is a coldly calculated plan to achieve security and have a bit of “fun” that turns out, more often than not, to be deeply unsatisfying, whatever the pay."
Without this discovery the young person is at risk of merely looking at the income and lose on vitality and vibrancy. i would ask the young person keep a record, a diary, answering a few simple reflective questions, thus taking charge of his / her life:
Ancient Indians spoke about Swadhyaya - being one's own teacher, being a student who is learning irrespective of the circumstances. In reflecting honestly on one's life, free of assumptions and expectations one may discover the ability to educate oneself. In this discovery, one would also find alertness, freedom, humility, joy. And the ingrained belief, that one needs college education, to take oneself ahead, will find its place.
If school is a valuable social institution, it will lose in value if there is an overmuch of emphasis on marks in the exams. The student, grounded in reality, respectful relationship and lifelong learning is not born out of performing for the teacher's approval. In fact those that do too well in school seem to run out of steam early in their work life and also lose verve. One may hazard the guess that parents and teachers should worry about preserving the spirits of students rather than constantly tell them what they need to do and what they should not. Nothing injures the spirit more. And lastly, parents need to hold their anxiety - they need to survey the landscape around them. They need to look at their own classmates, people who went different paths. They need to take courage from the fact that most are reasonably well off. And those that have collapsed have not done so because of the want of a degree. Some of the collapses have been because society could not validate and support an artisitic temparament, a physical intelligence or a musical one.
And for those who do too extremely well academically, may be their real education is being unwittingly neglected.
G.Gautama
12 May 2009
directly. But from one old enough to be his great grandmother.Patti (Grandmother): "What should he do? What line of engineering should he choose? He is a good boy and has finished school. He will surely get good marks. But he is confused, Which line should he choose? Shall I send him to you? WIll you please speak to him?"
Teacher: "Yes, what shall we say that is something tinged with more than just hope and 'trust me I know'?"
P: "He wants to do well."
T: "I understand that and who would not. But what does 'doing well' that mean to him?"
P: "A god job and a good salary. If the IT boom had not ended he would have gone that way. But now he is unsure."
T: "Yes, what would he like to do? What would he be happy doing?"
P: "Well, that is his confusion. He does not seem to have much that he is sure of."
T: "If I see read the aspirations of most educated young people who I meet, a good job seems to mean sitting in an air conditioned office before a computer, and enough money."
P: "While that seems stark you may have a point. The man who comes to fix my air conditioner is not an engineer, but a tenth passed worker."
T: "Students who do engineering want to go up quickly - up the ladder, into management, or marketing or finance or IT."
P: "Therefore does it matter what branch of engineering, particularly if one is not going to pursue engineering?
T: "Patti, you are not supposed to be saying this - that is my line! In the college atmosphere, with peers bringing new information, this is where students gather aspirations."
P: "It used to be simple some years ago - people could choose an engineering or medical course and then life took care of them"
T: "Unfortunately, or fortunately the rules have changed in the 21C. Recently someone said to me that your degree will take you only 2 years in your career."
P: "At least that!"
T: "But what if you are only clear about 'sitting in an air conditioned office before a computer, and enough money'? The 2 years will not take you far. After that people seem to need an attitude of learning and willingness to learn again. They need stamina and forbearance to try many solutions and work with different sensibilities."
P: "Schools and colleges don't seem to be helping our young people learn this. Years ago in Germany students used to go to industry. And they were not only looking for white collar jobs.
T: But today in India even people who have passed 12th standard want an office job. No one wants to travel or get their hands dirty, if they can avoid it."
P: "We have to accept this as the popular aspiration. We cannot wish it away."
T: "Yes, therefore the question becomes even more poignant - what do we say to a young person, who asks for advice. What do we say that we feel is authentic and good and has his or her long term interest in mind?"
P: "It is safe to suggest engineering, or MBA or Visual communications."
T: "I would feel very inauthentic saying this to any young person. I may say....
it is ok for you to be confused and not know what to do. It is also perfectly ok to want to earn well and be happy. I wish you this.
However it is important to ask where you wish to start, particularly when you are unsure what interests you. You must remember that you live in times very different from those we have grown up in. This means every 3 or 5 years you will be learning new things and will be required to learn new things. This will be needed whatever your job or work. So you need to cultivate a discipline of learning. Unlike in the school or college, what you have to learn may not come to you in the form of books. You will have to search for it and go after it. You need to smell out possibilities and take them forward.
Most people seem to go for a college degree because they feel 'incomplete' without it. All will agree that most things they learnt in college and school are not used by them. They would simultaneously tell you that the experience was valuable for all the things outside the classroom.
Now may I raise a few questions, as much to you as to myself? Is there another way of approaching this question? Let us take some facts:
1. Considering that college education does not matter much for what you have to do, if you must, just take any course. It will give you feel a sense of belonging. Further, you don't have any compulsion that you must work in an area that you study.
2. Three and four year course have a new significance these days. They say knowledge doubles every 2 1/2 years. This means the ground that you cover in college will be 1/2 as relevant by the time you pass out.
3. You have to continue learning even after college and this is unavoidable.
4. You will do most of your learning on the job, in the contexts of your choice.
Now considering that your degree will take you 2 years into your career, and that you would need a discipline of learning continuously, what would be sensible for you to do?
1. Are you sure you wish to be in an air-conditioned room all your working life?
2. Which level do you wish to enter the work life? As an apprentice or as a manager?
3. Is apprenticeship for a year or two, work experience for a year or two followed by a degree an option at all?
4. Your resources now:
- your language abilities
- your close contact with the breadth of school education
- you have dreams
- you have energy and are willing to many things and learn many things
- and you have friends
Now, I would suggest to a young person to try and do 2 or 3 short term assignments in a year or work as an apprentice to someone who is doing in an area that he / she likes. One thing this exercise will do - one will find out what is definitely 'no'. I would also advice a young person to enter the world of work 'modestly'. If one is learning, one does not expect to be paid a high salary for it. Colege charge one for the opportunity to learn. So crafting a learning opportunity for oneself with a modest income is like having a stipend for learning, studying, discovering what one enjoys doing and would like to be doing.
One may also discover that the skills one has are already more than what is needed in most jobs! With this confidence if a young person continues to learn then soon he or she can do a degree or earn a qualification. Many of us know people whose organizations are sponsoring them for higher qualifications. Short term courses in the work period are quite common and practical.
As David Orr wrote in 1985 "...the oldest and most comfortable assumption of all that education can take place only in "educational" institutions. Colleges and universities are expensive, slow moving, often unimaginative, and weighted down by the burdens of self-congratulation and tradition. They offer a discipline-centric curriculum that corresponds modestly with reality. The grip colleges and universities now have on "education" will be broken when young people discover alternatives that are far cheaper, faster and better adapted to economic realities. "
He further goes on to say, "Students ought to be encouraged first to find their calling: that particular thing for which they have a deep passion and which they would like to do above all else. A calling is about the person one wants to make oneself. A career is a coldly calculated plan to achieve security and have a bit of “fun” that turns out, more often than not, to be deeply unsatisfying, whatever the pay."
Without this discovery the young person is at risk of merely looking at the income and lose on vitality and vibrancy. i would ask the young person keep a record, a diary, answering a few simple reflective questions, thus taking charge of his / her life:
- What have I learnt today?
- How do I say I have learnt this?
- Have i collaborated with my colleagues today?
- How do I say this?
- What listening did I bring to colleagues today?
- What is the basis on which I say that 'I listened'?
- What initiatives have I taken today, things that no one asked me for?
Ancient Indians spoke about Swadhyaya - being one's own teacher, being a student who is learning irrespective of the circumstances. In reflecting honestly on one's life, free of assumptions and expectations one may discover the ability to educate oneself. In this discovery, one would also find alertness, freedom, humility, joy. And the ingrained belief, that one needs college education, to take oneself ahead, will find its place.
If school is a valuable social institution, it will lose in value if there is an overmuch of emphasis on marks in the exams. The student, grounded in reality, respectful relationship and lifelong learning is not born out of performing for the teacher's approval. In fact those that do too well in school seem to run out of steam early in their work life and also lose verve. One may hazard the guess that parents and teachers should worry about preserving the spirits of students rather than constantly tell them what they need to do and what they should not. Nothing injures the spirit more. And lastly, parents need to hold their anxiety - they need to survey the landscape around them. They need to look at their own classmates, people who went different paths. They need to take courage from the fact that most are reasonably well off. And those that have collapsed have not done so because of the want of a degree. Some of the collapses have been because society could not validate and support an artisitic temparament, a physical intelligence or a musical one.
And for those who do too extremely well academically, may be their real education is being unwittingly neglected.
G.Gautama
12 May 2009
May 19, 2009
A thought you may consider...
Suppose for a moment that your Principal, teachers and parents were to say:
My child, what marks you get are not the least bit important. In a short time when you are grown up, no one will be looking at the marks you are worrying so much about. To us you are important and not what marks you get. You may think this strange, but let me tell you why we think this...
http://www.hindu.com/quest/200503/stories/2005031103710100.htm
My child, what marks you get are not the least bit important. In a short time when you are grown up, no one will be looking at the marks you are worrying so much about. To us you are important and not what marks you get. You may think this strange, but let me tell you why we think this...
http://www.hindu.com/quest/
Apr 14, 2009
21c asks us to dance firmly...
We just need to put more of these in our common spaces.. and speak them out as well.
as Krishnamurti said 'as we speak we will learn'.
In fact that has been my learning and growing and tumbling.. and stumbling..
the metaphor of stumbling is interesting..
we stumble upon things.. they have appeal and they challenge us
we don't know what to do!
we cant just repeat...
But neither can it be as if we haven't heard it at all!
so what does one do? what can we do?
resonate and invoke in our midst.. several times?
play with it?
speak the words and thus commit to it in a way...?
But the irreverence of this is so profound..
Please use, echo and state... till it becomes difficult for any of us to consider our views as holy
and so profound as not to be questioned...!!
We are able to question others.. and also (somewhat reluctantly) allow questioning of our views...
But since all is hazy and not completely clear we (as individuals) are unable to 'put our weight behind' things.. and stand our ground ... and be willing to move...
In fact we should just ask ourselves in conversation and discussions -
Where do you stand?
Why?
Do you wish to reconsider?
and then ...now hold on...
what is your answer to...1,2,3.. questions?
Here is another position. what is your answer to this?
for yourself?
for the collective, our school, family, all schools, all families?
etc etc.. robust standing and movement...
21c asks us to dance firmly...
Apr 8, 2009
The heady wine of pragmatism
शहरों शहरों गलियों जिस का चरचा है
That which is discussed in all towns, all streets
वोह अफसाना तेरा भी है मेरा भी
That is the story, yours and mine
मैखाने की बात न कर वा _इज मुझ से
Dont talk to me of taverns..
आना जाना तेरा भी है मेरा भी
We all go there, you too, and I too...
rich and full flavoured
of a deep colour and full bodied
inviting, drawing one ahead
an ancient wine,
far older than 3000 years
brewed slowly in civilizational cellars
the heady wine of pragmatism...
It is fed by parents to young children
injected into the veins of students by teachers and institutions
offered as the rite of passage
by fathers to young men,
drunk daily and drunk deep!
The heady wine of pragmatism...
settles all arguments within oneself
'this is the way it has always been,
you do nothing that others haven't done before you,
if not you, another will take your place,
dont be silly, dont be a fool,
dont lose this opportunity... life is short
and you have far to go..
do drink, there is nothing wrong...
it has always been so...
The rite of passage is agonizing!
How come people say one thing under the sun
and another by night?
Slowly refined sensibility, years of education
overpowered effortlessly, brushed aside!
the scruples and restraints of reason fade away
when the nose scents opportunity, gold or time saved...
What happens to all the 'right' things taught,
slowly, painfully over a decade of school and more?
Wait your turn, stand in queue!
You have rights, the same as another!
Be honest, dont cheat, copy!
What you are is more important than what you do!
Suddenly... 'this is real life, the marketplace,
Everything has a price...'
Wait your turn, but if you are smart you can jump it!
Sure there are rules - but they are costly
And, there are always exceptions, and they cost little!
This is not cheating - just 'something',
a small thing
an unmarked envelope, or a few notes given without counting
or speed money,
if you dont like that, there is another way
a gift given, at diwali, new year or child's birthday.
administrative expenses, or hotel expenses
and ..... everyone gives these...
And should a young one ask you,
What is this, father, mother, teacher?
What have you taught then, what do you teach now?
What will the child hear,
from the wells of an ashamed silence?
"Yes, my child, this is so!
The price we all pay for the little things...
Yes, a shameful truth, we must confess.
"We too drink the wine of pragmatism,
often,
helplessly!
The cask is ever full,
and in the crowded marketplace
nothing moves,
nothing, without the wine of pragmatism!"
"Drink deep, it will ease your way!
Drink deep it will ease your pain!
Drink a little daily and it will soon seal your lips
No more empty words! No more truth,
No speaking your mind, or standing your ground...
You will soon find a new wellspring
"At least I dont pretend!
"At least I accept,
that this is life!"
What wonderful wine this!
How sweet, how real, how pragmatic!
That which is discussed in all towns, all streets
वोह अफसाना तेरा भी है मेरा भी
That is the story, yours and mine
मैखाने की बात न कर वा _इज मुझ से
Dont talk to me of taverns..
आना जाना तेरा भी है मेरा भी
We all go there, you too, and I too...
Mirza Ghalib
There is a wine,rich and full flavoured
of a deep colour and full bodied
inviting, drawing one ahead
an ancient wine,
far older than 3000 years
brewed slowly in civilizational cellars
the heady wine of pragmatism...
It is fed by parents to young children
injected into the veins of students by teachers and institutions
offered as the rite of passage
by fathers to young men,
drunk daily and drunk deep!
The heady wine of pragmatism...
settles all arguments within oneself
'this is the way it has always been,
you do nothing that others haven't done before you,
if not you, another will take your place,
dont be silly, dont be a fool,
dont lose this opportunity... life is short
and you have far to go..
do drink, there is nothing wrong...
it has always been so...
The rite of passage is agonizing!
How come people say one thing under the sun
and another by night?
Slowly refined sensibility, years of education
overpowered effortlessly, brushed aside!
the scruples and restraints of reason fade away
when the nose scents opportunity, gold or time saved...
What happens to all the 'right' things taught,
slowly, painfully over a decade of school and more?
Wait your turn, stand in queue!
You have rights, the same as another!
Be honest, dont cheat, copy!
What you are is more important than what you do!
Suddenly... 'this is real life, the marketplace,
Everything has a price...'
Wait your turn, but if you are smart you can jump it!
Sure there are rules - but they are costly
And, there are always exceptions, and they cost little!
This is not cheating - just 'something',
a small thing
an unmarked envelope, or a few notes given without counting
or speed money,
if you dont like that, there is another way
a gift given, at diwali, new year or child's birthday.
administrative expenses, or hotel expenses
and ..... everyone gives these...
And should a young one ask you,
What is this, father, mother, teacher?
What have you taught then, what do you teach now?
What will the child hear,
from the wells of an ashamed silence?
"Yes, my child, this is so!
The price we all pay for the little things...
Yes, a shameful truth, we must confess.
"We too drink the wine of pragmatism,
often,
helplessly!
The cask is ever full,
and in the crowded marketplace
nothing moves,
nothing, without the wine of pragmatism!"
"Drink deep, it will ease your way!
Drink deep it will ease your pain!
Drink a little daily and it will soon seal your lips
No more empty words! No more truth,
No speaking your mind, or standing your ground...
You will soon find a new wellspring
"At least I dont pretend!
"At least I accept,
that this is life!"
What wonderful wine this!
How sweet, how real, how pragmatic!
Mar 22, 2009
Words, meanings and body language...
There is always a strange tussle in human life, completely beneath the surface, or if you please between the head and the heart. In any situation the head speaks the language of reason, we assume. And the heart, the more irrational language of the impressionistic non verbal. And people aware of this or otherwise, choose one. A bit like backing a horse at a race!
Is this situation unavoidable? Will we always hear two voices in two ears?
This is so, one of the givens of human life. We either hear these voices from ourselves. They probably represent the various people we have internalized. Or we hear the people around us voicing various perceptions.
People often say, the rational and sensible way out is to go for the facts and these touchstones will resolve the problems. Others say that there is no resolution.
If one adds the dimension of body language and its influence on us, the situation becomes even more tricky. It is said that interviews are finished in time that the candidate takes to walk from the door to he chair. Impressions are formed and these are rarely modified in the minds of the people who interview. The carriage, clothes, physical features complete their statements and are heard directly by the eyes, ears and the deeper layers of our psyche. This is where decisions are made.
There is a nagging question. Yes, decisions are made thus. But are we infallible? Are there things we notice and are there those we don't? Is our assessment and weighing not a product of our conditioning? And how is this better, more sensible than an other's?
Is body language all we have. Are the words we hear and speak impotent? Therefore do words carry little meaning and even less effect?
Could there be a way out of this funnel? Can we be something other than helpless victims of our own backgrounds? Is there any wisdom in use of words?
A question! However limited, can words be taken seriously? This is a difficult question and one may be tempted to dismiss it. But here goes...
Words have meanings, however vague or specific. And our background adds colour and flavour to them. Would there be any sense in picking words for 'engagement'? What could this mean?
For instance, if one hears an emotionally laden word in a conversation what could one do? "I am disgusted with the President of this company!" All one's emotional responses fire. "Danger, oh what is coming now? How do I not get road rolled?" etc. Are there any clues, approaches?
One could respond by speaking of one's feelings. Anxiety, wariness, fear etc. "What is real" grounds the communication. But what beyond stating of feeling.
Would there be value in saying, "I can see you are upset and irritated. But I don't get any clear sense, What do you mean by 'disgust' in this context? If you were to use some other words, to help me get a better sense, what would you say?"
Is there value in not assuming that one understands? Even if this is just a 'strategy' does it offer a glimmer of hope for bypassing our deep, settled, unaware responses?
Our actions count more than the perceptions. Therefore what we do with what we experience counts more than our understanding and perceptions. Taking the words seriously allows space to raise questions. It may be important to elaborate the zone of questions: Questions are often used as tools of battle - trying to score a point, or to unsettle another. But if that is not one's aim or purpose then questions can be used to navigate the landscape of human communication of meanings, feelings and intentions in an enquiring, unfolding journey. For example questions can be used for
1. clarifying meanings of words and context. (Eg: What do you mean by the word settlement?)
2. to understand if what the listener understands is what the speaker said. (Eg: Do I understand you as saying that formal education is unimportant.)
3. to understand if the basis assumptions one is getting are the one's the speaker has. (Eg: Are you assuming that mountain folk are more honest than plains people.)
4. To catch the feelings behind the expressions. (Eg: Are you expressing you preference for ice cream over fruits?)
Hopefully such an approach will free one of some of the limitations of human communication and permit us to live together holding our judgements and conclusions in check.
Is this situation unavoidable? Will we always hear two voices in two ears?
This is so, one of the givens of human life. We either hear these voices from ourselves. They probably represent the various people we have internalized. Or we hear the people around us voicing various perceptions.
People often say, the rational and sensible way out is to go for the facts and these touchstones will resolve the problems. Others say that there is no resolution.
If one adds the dimension of body language and its influence on us, the situation becomes even more tricky. It is said that interviews are finished in time that the candidate takes to walk from the door to he chair. Impressions are formed and these are rarely modified in the minds of the people who interview. The carriage, clothes, physical features complete their statements and are heard directly by the eyes, ears and the deeper layers of our psyche. This is where decisions are made.
There is a nagging question. Yes, decisions are made thus. But are we infallible? Are there things we notice and are there those we don't? Is our assessment and weighing not a product of our conditioning? And how is this better, more sensible than an other's?
Is body language all we have. Are the words we hear and speak impotent? Therefore do words carry little meaning and even less effect?
Could there be a way out of this funnel? Can we be something other than helpless victims of our own backgrounds? Is there any wisdom in use of words?
A question! However limited, can words be taken seriously? This is a difficult question and one may be tempted to dismiss it. But here goes...
Words have meanings, however vague or specific. And our background adds colour and flavour to them. Would there be any sense in picking words for 'engagement'? What could this mean?
For instance, if one hears an emotionally laden word in a conversation what could one do? "I am disgusted with the President of this company!" All one's emotional responses fire. "Danger, oh what is coming now? How do I not get road rolled?" etc. Are there any clues, approaches?
One could respond by speaking of one's feelings. Anxiety, wariness, fear etc. "What is real" grounds the communication. But what beyond stating of feeling.
Would there be value in saying, "I can see you are upset and irritated. But I don't get any clear sense, What do you mean by 'disgust' in this context? If you were to use some other words, to help me get a better sense, what would you say?"
Is there value in not assuming that one understands? Even if this is just a 'strategy' does it offer a glimmer of hope for bypassing our deep, settled, unaware responses?
Our actions count more than the perceptions. Therefore what we do with what we experience counts more than our understanding and perceptions. Taking the words seriously allows space to raise questions. It may be important to elaborate the zone of questions: Questions are often used as tools of battle - trying to score a point, or to unsettle another. But if that is not one's aim or purpose then questions can be used to navigate the landscape of human communication of meanings, feelings and intentions in an enquiring, unfolding journey. For example questions can be used for
1. clarifying meanings of words and context. (Eg: What do you mean by the word settlement?)
2. to understand if what the listener understands is what the speaker said. (Eg: Do I understand you as saying that formal education is unimportant.)
3. to understand if the basis assumptions one is getting are the one's the speaker has. (Eg: Are you assuming that mountain folk are more honest than plains people.)
4. To catch the feelings behind the expressions. (Eg: Are you expressing you preference for ice cream over fruits?)
Hopefully such an approach will free one of some of the limitations of human communication and permit us to live together holding our judgements and conclusions in check.
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